The Diary of a Young Jacket

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"Oof! It smells in here." I thought as I was being stretched and rubbed against people on the subway. My owner has a car, but for some reason, he prefers to use public transportation. I think he might be stalking someone.

 Ah, I almost forgot, I am Sir Jack. I am a sentient Jacket. I can think, feel and ugh! Smell things. It's 2020, it'd be unwise for you assume that I don't have feeling s.

 Let me tell y'all a story. I was on my owner, with my hot body wrapped around his. I saw this jacket in the office. He was Gucci. He had zips in all the right places. I wanted my owner to get closer so I could get a better look, but alas, he doesn't really swing that way. I tried to swallow my feelings, "Cool your jets, it's just hormones" I said. But the heart wants what the heart wants.

 That night, all I could think about was the jacket I saw in the office The way his hot tanned leather wrapped tightly around the body, the way his zips teased me, oh what I wouldn't give to have one wild washing cycle with the jacket in the machine. We'd use the best detergent, get all soapy and wet, and have the best time of our lives.

 I was engulfed by my carnal desires, but reality soon struck as my owner picked me up and wrapped me around him. It was another day, and god I hoped I'd see that jacket in my office again!

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